Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize