please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Randomize
