yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
