i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
