Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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