So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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