Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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