She's JV to your varsity
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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