Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
