I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.