We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
