all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day