Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
