We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
