i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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