He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
