Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize