we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
