we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
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i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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