Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Girls should come with a carfax report
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
NoShamevember. You game?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
