I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Randomize
