Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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