did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
