5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
