Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
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Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
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You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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