I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize