I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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