Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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