i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
