they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
