no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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