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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.

  Fav 13 1240 5279

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink

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• (813): View more from Florida

  The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.

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• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover

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• (650): View more from California

  Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  WE ARE DOOMED.

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure

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