I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.