I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
