I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
