let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
