The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
