he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're so committed to being not committed
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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