I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
