Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
