my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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