I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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