How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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