I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
