More tranny stories later!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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