marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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