Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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