The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I am midnight drunk by noon
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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