So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
