My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
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Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
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He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay