we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm both gender and math confused
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
