the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize