Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
