She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
