Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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