Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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