I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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