I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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