Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
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He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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