Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm at about main and main street
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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